The last weekend I have struggled to keep everything that makes me feel like I will combust inside me. But sunday it exploded. I feel empty, I feel useless I feel powerless to move and say anything. I know that if I even think about opening my mouth I will destroy something, I will mess something upset, I will upset someone. Because, in the face of it all, that is what I am good at doing, I am good at fucking things up. I am told that I am confusing, that I am not as bad as I make out that I should try and talk about my feelings, that I should chill out, that I should sort it out. I am told a lot of things. Sometimes I wish I had never been born, or that I could have an on off switch, something to help me escape this humdrum, pathetic exsitence that has been put before me. Sure I could change it, sure I could do something about it, but would my life being any different make me happy?

CURRENT MOOD: Three guesses....
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: The annoying voice of reason...