I have a telephone interview tomorrow for a job at PC world. Yay. As much as I need work, I really can't be bothered with the whole damn thing. Sure it will give me something to do, but it will take away the time I have to write, the time I have to finish things that demand to be finished. Fuck working, fuck life. Its a good thing that I may get something from this interview, but fuck it, why oh why should I even have to work inorder to have money that will pay for me to continue living. That is why life is a joke, it is not free and it is not fun unless you can afford it. Regardless of what you would do with the money if you had it you would therefore enjoy it so much more. It would allow oppertunities to be presented to you, it would allow you to get out of the house and do something, to entertain yourself etc etc.

I feel sick. Sick with an anger that only really hits me when everything seems to come into perspective. I have a good life, its not too hard, i just don't want it. Its not for me. Not now. Maybe I can mould it into something I want, but to do that I have to continue with this unrelenting bullshit that finds its way into my lap. I feel like crying, I ache everywhere. I hate this bullshit. Fuck this all. Fuck everything.

I have love in my life. Its great, it paints this world for me, takes the black and white shit that everthing is and colours it beautifully. But it hurts.

CURRENT MOOD: Reflective, angry, envious
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: 'to be the one' by IDAHO